I am a working mother. I wish that I didn't have to be. In fact, every day I go to work is a constant struggle. Everyone says that it will get easier, and while it's easier to be in the routine of it all, it's not easier for me to leave my child. While it is hard for me to leave every morning, I do know that it is only temporary and that this is where we need to be right now. But my struggle comes when I feel like I can't get enough done in the day. The hours of 7:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. are dedicated to work, but from 2 p.m. on I get to do the job I love the most...be a wife and a mother. I guess my call for help is this question: How do I get done all that I need to get done and all that I want to get done? My first priority is to Benjamin when he is awake. We love to play or go run errands - he loves the store. But then I also need to get the house cleaned, cook dinner, exercise, and do all the other little things that come up. By the time I wash the dishes and do dinner, and spend time with my husband and son...I feel like I don't have time for anything else. Anyway, now that you've sat and listened to my sob story, my question is...does anyone have any good pointers or suggestions? Please don't judge me...I do realize that this borders on the line of tacky.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
A call for help
I am a working mother. I wish that I didn't have to be. In fact, every day I go to work is a constant struggle. Everyone says that it will get easier, and while it's easier to be in the routine of it all, it's not easier for me to leave my child. While it is hard for me to leave every morning, I do know that it is only temporary and that this is where we need to be right now. But my struggle comes when I feel like I can't get enough done in the day. The hours of 7:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. are dedicated to work, but from 2 p.m. on I get to do the job I love the most...be a wife and a mother. I guess my call for help is this question: How do I get done all that I need to get done and all that I want to get done? My first priority is to Benjamin when he is awake. We love to play or go run errands - he loves the store. But then I also need to get the house cleaned, cook dinner, exercise, and do all the other little things that come up. By the time I wash the dishes and do dinner, and spend time with my husband and son...I feel like I don't have time for anything else. Anyway, now that you've sat and listened to my sob story, my question is...does anyone have any good pointers or suggestions? Please don't judge me...I do realize that this borders on the line of tacky.
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7 comments:
Hi Terra! I’ve been reading your blog forever and never comment, I still love you though :) I have been working full time through my whole marriage, that includes through my pregnancies and after my babies were born. It is difficult to be in this situation and we certainly don’t judge you for it. You have to live and survive, and there is nothing wrong with doing that. Our natural instinct is to blame ourselves for everything, and working is not a bad thing, so don’t be beating yourself up about it.
My big thing is being on a schedule. I have a day I go grocery shopping, I have a day I do laundry, a day I clean the bathrooms, etc. As far as what you can do for YOU, because I know for a long time I ignored my needs and wants and gave all of my time to my husband and kids, you need to set aside time for just yourself, so you can stay sane and healthy. Think about that, and what you can do, whether you go to the gym for 30 minutes in the evening, or go window shopping, go on a girls night out, or a date with your husband. You need to edify yourself :) You have a very awesome husband who I am sure will support you in that.
Oh, and know your house will never be clean and spotless, relax on that fact. It has only taken me 8 years to learn it :D
I love what Heather wrote.
This goes along with Heather's last paragraph, but I'm going to be redundant. I think it's important to realize what is important, and what's not. I struggle with this often (especially now that I'm doing some part time work from home), but I keep trying to remind myself that this is the only chance I get to be with Jonas when he's 1 and Zoie when she's 5. If I spend all of my time cleaning (or whatever) when I'm around them, I'm missing out on them.
Love you!
Well, Toot....coming from another working mother, my piece of advice is to simplify. Elder Holland said in a world wide leadership training that sometimes the best way to magnify your calling is to do less. Our calling is a wife and mother....I know when I feel out of control and overwhelmed it is because I am trying to do too much.
Sometimes the best medicine is to talk about it. Call me if you ever need to talk. Love ya!
Sari
I'm not a mom and so I have no great advice for you. What I do know, is that you are a great mom, amazing wife, the best friend a girl could ask for, you have such great faith in our Heavenly Father and our Savior, and you are one hot mamma.
You are always reminding me how important it is to rely on the Lord. You are such a great example of this.
If you ever need help with getting things done around your house or for someone to watch Benjamin so you can have time to yourself, you know who to call. I'll even clean your bathroom. :)
I know we talked about this last night, but I just wanted you to know that I think your awesome and I totally get your sense of humor. :)
I think that it's good to realize that you are not going to be able to do it all! And it's ok to take a little time for yourself sometimes. In fact it helps everyone when yo do because it makes you a happier person. Love you. Take care!
Add liquid soap to the kids bathwater and have them do the dishes while you wash their hair. Also, put two sided tape to Benjamins clothes and let him crawl all around. After the tape is non-sticky, spray it with windex and have him do the kitchen floors. OK, I hope you know I'm just kidding. You are doing a great job. Keep it up and keep smiling!!! It is OK to sit in a quiet room from time to time. I used to take my lunch breaks as "me" time. I know that it might not seem like it, but I do miss the "adultness" of working from time to time. From looking at my perfectly well manicured children, you know I know what I'm talking about. Love you! Jen and all those boys
Tacky, you NEVER. Just give in to giving up somethings and focus on what you plausably have time for. You're right, it's only temporary and you don't want to look back at this time as time you regret running around stressing about stuff. It's just NOT THAT IMPORTANT:) love you!
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