I Believe in the Disposal of Tommy Hilfiger Cologne
Aaron was my high school love. In all reality Aaron was my first real boyfriend, so naturally I thought I loved him. Aaron and I had been dating for about two months and we still had not had our first kiss. One day I was driving my best friend, Beth, and Aaron home from school. Aaron lived closest, so I unwillingly took him home first. As I got out of my 85’ gold Honda Civic to tell Aaron bye, Beth told me that I could not take her home until Aaron and I had kissed. The entire occasion was less than romantic. The dark brown apartments in the complex encircled us like cages at a zoo while the afternoon sun beat down steadily to reveal our nervousness and embarrassment. What made this kiss even more zoo-like was the fact that we had a spectator watching our every move like we were a rare species about to do something that no human had ever seen before. In reality, no human had ever seen this before, but I wish no one ever had. When the kiss was over, I was completely confused. I had imagined our first kiss to be in a secluded and romantic place and he would lean in gazing into my eyes. It would be a gentle kiss. But my dreams had been plummeted, and now I found myself secretly wishing that there would not be a second kiss. However, there was one thing from that moment that made it all worth it, his cologne. Aaron wore Tommy Hilfiger cologne. Tommy Hilfiger cologne has a masculine smell that isn’t too sweet nor too musky. To me it was the perfect smell. As we dated, I savored every smell of his cologne. I became so familiar with the smell that it became Aaron’s smell. As two years of on and off dating went by, it was obvious that this was merely a high school crush. By the end of our junior year, we broke up. It was, of course, a dramatic high school break up, and I just knew that I would never find anyone else as sensitive as Aaron. I was amazed at how quickly college cured my “un-healable” wounds. In my second year of Ricks College, I soon became reacquainted with a smell that still lingered in my memory.
Todd and I formally met at church. I initially thought that this 6’4” guy would be great with my 6’ 2” roommate, but for some reason all 5’ 2” of me caught his eye. Our first date was to Homecoming. We spent the whole day together before going to the dance that night. Though Todd’s completely forward personality scared me at first, I finally warmed up after we got to the dance. We had fun dancing and talking, and by the end of the night I thought I might actually be able to like this guy. But then it happened, an embarrassing “on the dance floor” kiss. It was the last dance of the night, “More Than Words” by Extreme. We were dancing close and right at the end of the song, Todd went in for the kiss. How could I have let something so tacky as kissing on the dance floor happen? As I burst into my apartment in tears, my roommates crowded around me like puppy dogs yearning for a long awaited meal. Through my tears, a familiar scent wafted to my nose. The smell must have exchanged onto my dress while we were dancing. This time, however, I did not associate it with Aaron. This smell now belonged to Todd. Todd wore Tommy Hilfiger cologne. The next day Todd came over and apologized, and I quickly diluted the tackiness of the “dance floor” experience. I rationalized by thinking that those things happen at Ricks College all the time. I again became obsessed with the smell of Tommy Hilfiger cologne, and I would hold Todd tight just so the smell would sink into my clothes. We exclusively dated for the next seven months and things progressively became very serious. Then one day Todd proposed! Life was blissful for about a month until we broke off our engagement. I was heartbroken, and I just wanted to give up. It was the middle of the semester so I knew that I could either sink or swim. I decided that this was not the end of the world. Though I wanted to hate him, I clung onto everything that smelled like Todd. But the smell faded over time, and I learned to live my life to the fullest without the smell of Tommy Hilfiger cologne. I did not seriously date again for about three years.
Andy and I met at my brother’s wedding; he was the best man. When Andy and I started dating, I was forced to remember two of my past boyfriends because Andy, indeed, carried their same smell. Andy wore Tommy Hilfiger cologne. I wondered if maybe this was a sign and I should just break up with him before my heart was hurt again. I figured that the third time was a charm, so Tommy Hilfiger cologne soon became Andy’s smell. I quickly realized that I was more a girlfriend of convenience for Andy. If Andy needed someone to kiss or someone to hang out with, he would call me. Every time I wanted to end it with Andy, he would do something amazing. Then he would hold me so close and tight that his cologne acted as a love potion that drugged me to incoherence and agreement with all he said. Along with his amazing spontaneity, Andy’s cologne soon became stale and un-magical. It had been two weeks since I had last talked to Andy and we did not even talk, we just kissed. It was after that when I made the decision to be done with Andy and that I never wanted or deserved to be treated that way again. That is also when I decided that Tommy Hilfiger cologne was cursed, and I swore never to date any man again who wore that scent. Just one month later my promise to myself was put to the test.
Previous to this test, Josh and I met on an airplane ride going to serve as missionaries for our church. I talked to him on the plane ride, but as it turned out I would not talk to him again for another two and a half years. After two and a half years, Josh randomly contacted me by e-mail. We started to talk via e-mail, and then it evolved into telephone talking. When Josh and I started to talk more, one day I asked him what kind of cologne he wore. He said that there were a couple of scents he wore, but his favorite was his Tommy Hilfiger cologne. I literally yelled out in agony. After I had calmed down, I explained my over reaction. That night I was discouraged because I knew how this relationship was going to turn out. Josh called me the next day, as he always did, but this time he seemed overly cheerful.
“Guess what?” he asked.
“What?” I replied half-heartedly.
“I threw away my Tommy Hilfiger cologne.” He responded.
We were married the next year.
Now and then I’ll pass a man wearing the familiar scent of Tommy Hilfiger cologne. I wince as I see the woman suctioned to that man’s side like a leech on flesh, and I wonder if she knows of the curse that lies hidden within that smell. Then I look at Josh and take in a deep cleansing breath, free of the scented curse. I smile at him and an odd sense of gratitude for Tommy Hilfiger cologne creeps into my mind. The lessons I learned in association with that scent were lessons of maturity, endurance, self respect, and true love. These lessons have shaped me and molded me into the person I am today. But even though I was taught a lot by the men who possessed that cologne, I will forever believe in the disposal of Tommy Hilfiger cologne.
